![]() I drink to make other people more interesting. We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. When you have beer, you don’t go around from house to house trying to give it away. Beer is never forced upon minors who are too young to think for themselves. Beer doesn’t dictate how you have sex and with whom. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know? -Ernest Hemingway “īe excellent and party on dudes. You won’t be killed if you don’t drink beer. Life is hard it’s harder if you’re stupid. I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! -Sean Morey “ You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or figurative language. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. A pun, also known as paronomasia, is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You start out dead and get that out of the way. In my next life I want to live my life backwards. The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. Unknown “ĭon’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. Groucho Marx “Īn intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. You can’t always control who walks into your life but, you CAN control which window you throw them out of… -Unknown “ Anonymous “īefore you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes. Go through life like a duck: Majestic on top, kicking like hell underneath. We go through life thinking we’re invincible, but the truth is we’re totally vincible. ![]() If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. You tried your best and you failed miserably. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Naked people have little or no influence in society. Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it. Kathrine Hepburn “įighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. From the movie ED tv “īuild a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. I've never met most of them before).My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life is to appear normal. "Hi baby abs!! I see you!!! I hope to meet your other ab friends soon (yes, I'm talking to my muscles. "The only BS I need in my life is breakfast and squats."-Unknownīreakfast and squats, the ultimate combo.Ģ1. "If you still look cute after working out, you didn't go hard enough."-UnknownĢ0. The heavier the better, in our humble opinion.ġ9. Party at the gym with my friends dumbbell and barbell."-Unknownġ8. I want to look like I could kick your butt."-Unknownġ7. "Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."-Cher We've been known to glisten from time to timeġ5. "I like big weights and I cannot lie."-Unknown Or better yet, how about lifting weights on a date?ġ2. "Eat clean, stay fit, and have a burger to stay sane."-Gigi Hadid That muscle isn't going to grow on its own!ġ0. Hey, whatever gets you through those last ten minutes on the treadmill. "My favorite machine at the gym is the television."-Unknown "Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!"-Jillian MichaelsĪ true gym rat wouldn't dream of stopping until they’ve given their all.Ħ. We call them squats."-UnknownĪnd just like life’s ups and downs, squats will make you stronger.ĥ. "I'm sorry for what I said during burpees."-UnknownĤ. Get in shape and do wonders for your mental health!ģ. Working out is like therapy that also makes you fit. ![]() ![]() "I got 99 problems, but I'm going to the gym to ignore all of them."-Unknown "I only work out because I really, really like donuts."-UnknownĢ. ![]() Feel free to share these fitness quotes with your workout buddies or bookmark this post to revisit when you need a fitness-focused laugh! 1. Funny gym quotes like these help increase motivation and make fitness even more fun. Here are 20 hysterical fitness quotes you must be a true #gymrat to appreciate. We know you take working out seriously, but exercise can be seriously funny! ![]()
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